Saturday, May 25, 2024

FICTITIOUS NARRATIVE

This narrative is the result of fiction. It can be found and encountered in different variants. Any resemblance to our country is coincidental.

Author: Katerina Topallova

Once upon a time in this small and strange country, politicians decided it was time to update the constitution. The document, although “perfectly functional”, was written in a rather confusing and archaic way, leading to all sorts of confusion and misunderstandings over the years. This Constitution, written “several centuries” ago – as one of our prominent politicians from our country would say – was known for its confused language and absurdly specific clauses.

Politicians, led by the prime minister, gathered a commission to draft the amendments. And the prime minister was noted for his love of playing with words and thoughts and could not resist injecting some humor into the process. The members of the commission, however, were a serious bunch who took their constitutional duties quite seriously.

The first thing that needed to be done was to replace the old fashioned language with something more relevant to the current generation, alluding to the youth and their future. They started with the preamble, with the intention of replacing it with a catchy rap verse that is sure to resonate with the youth. While choosing ideas for rhymes and metaphors, they accidentally turned the solemn and dignified preamble into a jumble of meaningless and confusing words.

They then addressed the separation of powers. However, in their desire to make things more exciting, they proposed that the executive, legislative and judicial branches be determined through a series of “rock-paper-scissors” tournaments held every four years. Needless to say, legal scholars in the country were left scratching their heads with this unconventional approach.

As the Commission’s meetings progressed, the Prime Minister’s proposals became more and more unusual. He suggested replacing all instances of the words – “citizens” with “pumpkins”, arguing that this would add a twist to the constitution. He suggested replacing “freedom of speech” with “freedom to shout”, arguing that this would give everyone a chance to release their inner parrot. And his piece de resistance was to replace the proposition – “the right to bear arms” with “the right to bear arms”, insisting that it was time for the state to adopt a more peaceful approach towards its neighbours.

The bewildered committee tried to turn the discussions towards meaningful changes, but the Prime Minister’s enthusiasm was contagious. As word got out about the strangely ridiculous proposals, the people of the state couldn’t help but be interested.

Public hearings were held and residents came out in droves, some supporting the strange changes while others strongly opposed them. “Pumpkin” supporters brought baskets of pumpkins to the discussions, while “hug” advocates shared free hugs in the central square with representatives of parts of other nations. State relations seemed to turn into a circus of constitutional creativity.

As the debate raged, a well-known visiting journalist at a major city newspaper picked up the story. The resulting article, titled “Constitutional Comedy: One State’s Desire for Change,” went viral, and soon the events in the quaint little state were making headlines across the country and beyond. But amid all the laughter and absurdity, a small group of citizens began to worry that their country’s reputation was at stake. They formed a Coalition to promote sensible updates to the constitution, advocating for clear language and meaningful changes if they need to be made.

But what happened in the end? Will there be a vote or not?! This was taken care of by the main state fortune teller, who could predict other things besides changing the name of the state… As she said, that’s what happened…

In the end, after long and endless debates, the politicians voted in favor of the proposed amendments. While some of the prime minister’s humorous proposals garnered a surprising number of votes, most politicians and citizens opted for clearer and more practical changes. The constitution was updated to better reflect the needs and values ​​of the community, without the crazy hugs and yummy pumpkins.

And so it became public knowledge in the state that while a touch of humor can certainly lighten the mood, when it comes to matters as important as the constitution, it’s best to strike a balance between fun and function. The constitutional disaster became a story told for generations, a reminder that even the best-intentioned efforts at change can take an unexpected turn and an unintended glee, realizing that it was precisely these absurdities that made their country unique. and brought laughter into their lives. And everyone lived with humor – until then.

(This narrative is the result of fiction. It can be found and encountered in different variants. Any resemblance to our country is coincidental…)

Të fundit